This is something that has probably taken me 8 years to come to terms with. I have 3 beautiful children and my eldest son is 8 …so yes I have grappled with feeling somewhat “guilty” if I indulge in anything that does not involve my family. “Mother guilt” is definitely something that many women feel; actress and mother Jada Pinkett-Smith explains this concept perfectly – please take 5 minutes to watch this.
After being asked the question by her daughter Willow, “How hard is it being a wife and mother ?” Jada explains in order to have balance in your life, and to take care of others “at the capacity we do” you have to take care of yourself. The clip is definitely worth watching.
This holiday break I also started reading the beautiful book, by the gorgeous Melissa Ambrosini called “Mastering Your Mean Girl.” I have been a big fan of Melissa’s for a while as she speaks from the heart, drawing on her own personal experiences, to inspire you to becoming wildly wealthy, fabulously healthy and bursting with love. She is contagiously positive and has definitely made me become much more “self-aware” of my negative self talk.
Melissa’s “Soul Share” above mentions that as women and mothers we need to flex our self love muscle. Self-love is not selfish and only when you fill yourself up with things that make you happy do you become the best version of you. Or as Jada’s mother simply puts it – “When Momma’s unhappy, everybody is unhappy !”
So as we head into 2016 what are some of the things you are going to do to make you happy ? They don’t have to be enormous changes, it can be something as simple as enjoying a cup of tea in the sun or taking a long hot shower, or taking 15 minutes to move your body in a way that makes you feel good – dance, walking, swimming yoga.
Here are some of my intentions to fill myself up with happiness so it overflows to my family and friends:
- Meditate – I love listening to Melissa’s soothing meditations before I go to sleep. You can also find some beautiful guided meditations by Little Sage here
- Gratitude – when I wake up in the morning I tell myself 5 things I am grateful for. This always makes me start the day positively – try it !
- Yoga – slowing down and releasing via yoga stretches always makes me feel amazing. I am going to schedule in more time for this.
- Cooking – I love cooking nourishing meals for me and my family.
- Mindful Eating – when I stop and sit down outside for 5 mins to eat my lunch (without my phone) I always feel so much better than eating on the go.
- Swimming – as a sport was a major part of my life growing up. I love doing laps in a pool and diving into the ocean.
- Breathing – yeah it might sound ridiculously simple. But 5 big breaths in the shower in the morning make a difference to my day. I am going to try to do this more while driving.
All these things always leave me feeling happy – so my goal is to do more of them.
Here’s to a beautiful 2016 ! xx